


Chocolates

by Daxolotl



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Chocolate, Crying, F/F, Hangover, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Love Confessions, Minor Violence, Pseudo-Incest, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-10-26 11:41:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17745275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daxolotl/pseuds/Daxolotl
Summary: Alex always liked the idea of Valentine's Day.She thought it was a romantic concept.But somehow, she always seems to end up spending every Valentine's with her sister.





	Chocolates

**Author's Note:**

> _This idea...got a little out of hand._

Alex always liked the idea of Valentine's Day.

She thought it was a romantic concept. Sure, it was a commercialised holiday, but she liked the idea of there being a day of the year devoted to telling your loved ones how much you care about them – one tied solely to romance, not to platonic relationships.

She liked the _idea_ of it, but not necessarily the execution.

Because in practise, it results in her getting glittery, heart-shaped cards on her desk from people with names like Brad and Rick, usually with the price stickers badly-picked-off. None of the romantic wooing she was hoping for. Just before her fourteenth birthday, she gets a box of chocolates from Brad. Those last her the next month and a half, eating one when she was feeling down or studying. She likes the chocolates better than the cards.

Then Kara arrives.

Alex's whole life changes overnight.

Because suddenly, there's an alien living in her house. An alien she needs to help teach, help protect, help educate about every Human thing that is so alien to this alien girl.

A lot of the time, it's a chore.

But when she talks about Valentine's Day coming up, Kara's eyes light up.

"Is that anything like the holidays were?" she asks.

Alex pauses. Thinks about her words. "It's a day when people who like each other get each other tacky gifts. It's meant to be all about love, but it's whatever."

Kara frowns. "So I should get you something?"

Alex snorts. "No. It's for people who _like_ like each other. Like, the boys get cards and chocolates for the cute girls they have crushes on, and things like that."

"Oh," Kara says, with sudden understanding. "It's a formalised day of courting rituals!"

She, secretly, likes when Kara says things like that. It's goofy and silly and so incredibly _Kara_. But it also makes Alex seem very uncool to other people when she says those things in places others can hear her.

"Yeah, Kar. Formal day of courting. Cards, chocolates, lots of glitter."

That's the last she hears about it for two weeks.

Until Valentine's rolls around.

She barely even notices the day come around, but when she walks into class to see a box of chocolates on her desk from her on-again-off-again boyfriend (they're off again right now, and she's guessing this is his attempt at reconciliation) she remembers. Huh. Right.

She stuffs the box in her bag and avoids Connor until lunch, when she goes looking for Kara. It's habit, by this point. Drilled into her by Eliza. _Keep an eye on her_.

She's not there in the cafeteria.

That's...not right. Kara eats more than a horse. She should be there.

"Hey, has anyone seen Kara?" she asks the table, as she settles down with a tray of food.

There's a collection of headshakes from her friends, and a snide comment that she ignores.

Then Connor walks through the door to the cafeteria. Right. That decides it. She wasn't feeling that hungry anyway. She grabs her bag and gets up again. "Someone else can have my lunch, I'm uh, not that hungry."

She practically runs out of the cafeteria, and heads towards the hall where Kara's last class before lunch had been. "Kara!" she shouts, knowing that the girl will be able to hear her anywhere in the school. "Kara, where are you?"

She checks the classroom. Empty.

She checks the girls' bathroom. Empty. She's about to leave opening the door back to the hall, when she hears a sniffle.

"..Kara?"

Another sniff, louder. "Go away, Alex."

Alex recoils. Wow. _Go away_? From Kara, that's practically profanity.

She ducks her head down to check for legs once again. Nope. Kara must be crouched on one of the toilets. Or floating. "Which stall are you in? I'll kick 'em all down until I find you."

There's quiet for a few seconds.

"...Third stall."

"Thank you," she says, softly. "Can you unlock it for me?"

Another couple of seconds of silence, then feet touching the floor and the sound of a bolt unlatching.

Kara's there, eyes red and raw, tear-tracks staining her cheeks.

"Oh, Kara..." She steps forwards, wrapping her in a hug. "What happened?"

Kara starts crying all over again, burying her head against Alex's shoulder. "It...it's stupid, I'm sorry."

"Kara, it's got you crying in the girls' bathroom. It's not stupid."

"I was just..." Kara rubs at her eyes. "I was so excited for Valentine's. And then, it rolled around, and....I was the only girl in the class without anything on her desk. _Everyone_ else got a card."

Oh, no.

"And I didn't think it would bother me, I thought I'd just be happy to see all the happiness and all the courting. But the more I thought about it, the more I just felt...alone."

"Hey." Alex chastises, gently. "You're not alone. Ever. I swear to you, Kara. You've been through a lot. Through more than I can imagine. But you're never alone, when you've got me here."

Kara laughs lightly against Alex's shoulder in between her crying. "Thank you."

"Anytime. Seriously."

They stay like that for a while, hugging as Kara settles down and stops crying.

"...We're missing lunch," she whines, eventually, and that's when Alex knows Kara's going to be okay.

"We are."

Kara's stomach grumbles loudly, and Alex suddenly remembers the box of chocolates in her bag. She moves away from the hug and starts rummaging through her bag, ignoring Kara's frown of confusion in order to pull out the box triumphantly.

Kara's eyes brighten. "Are those...Valentine's Day Chocolates?"

"Yeah. Connor got them for me, and he's a lame loser, so," Alex shrugs. "I figured the cool girls deserve them instead."

"I'm actually warmer than the average human body temperature, Kara says, adjusting her glasses slightly, and Alex laughs as she tears open the seal on the cardboard box.

"Just shut up and eat a chocolate, nerd. And scooch up, the floor's gross and I want to sit somewhere."

That's the story of how they spend Kara's first Valentine's Day on Earth perched on a toilet, eating their way through a whole box of chocolates and giggling.

_ _ _

The next year, after she and Connor are off-again for _good_ , she doesn't get any chocolates. And she's a little sad – not because of the lack of gifts, but because she and Kara can't share them this year.

At lunch, Kara bounds up to her, a box of chocolates in her hands, and her eyebrows climb to the ceiling.

"Alex! Lannan, in my class, you know Lannan right, he's really cool and he's going to be trying out for the football team next year, well, earlier today he walked right up to me and gave me these! He was so nice. I can't believe he noticed _me_. I mean, I'm just me."

Alex isn't sure how she feels about that. Lannan? Lannan's a jerk. But...if Kara trusts him...

"You're not _just_ anything, Kara. You're incredible. And I'm happy someone's noticing it." She smiles and hugs Kara tightly. "Congratulations."

She doesn't see Kara again until the end of school. She's not in their usual spot, waiting for Alex to walk her home. After waiting for ten minutes she's starting to get worried, and she makes her way towards the bike sheds. Best to check outside before she starts searching the whole school, right?

She's only halfway there when she hears the laughter.

Lannan.

"You really, _seriously_ thought I liked you?"

She storms towards the sheds, and finds them there. Lannan, Kara, and all of his jock friends. They're encircling Kara, laughing and jeering.

"You're the weirdest kid in school. God, I don't know what's wrong with you but it's gotta be something serious!" He laughs, louder, and Alex's eyes flick to Kara. Kara, tears running down her cheeks, a box of chocolates in her hands. The cardboard is creasing, her ability to watch her strength falling with every word Lannan says. "I mean, come on. How messed-up do you have to be to think that someone like me would be interested in someone like you?"

She surges forwards. She can't listen to any more. The first swing hits Lannan in the side of his smug jaw, her knuckles stinging as he drops. A sucker-punch is cheap, but it's what he deserves right now.

His friends back away in shock. Five jocks and they're scared of one girl. If she wasn't so angry, she'd laugh at them.

"She deserves _so much better than you_ , you asshole. If you ever – if you _ever_ come near my sister again, Lannan, then I will tear your spine out and feed it to you! Is that understood?"

Kara's staring at her in wide-eyed shock. She doesn't bother to look at any of the others when she grabs Kara by the hand, leading them both away from the horror show.

"...I thought they liked me." Kara's voice is shaky as the round the corner.

"They're jerks," Alex responds, clenching her free fist.

"Are you okay? You hit him really hard."

That makes Alex stop. "You just got bullied, mercilessly, by a guy you thought liked you...and you're asking if _I'm_ okay?" She blinks. "You're asking if my _hand's_ hurting?"

Kara nods, like it's obvious. She's sniffing a little, but her tears have dried. She looks concerned for Alex, not sad or breaking down.

"...You're the most incredible girl I've ever met, you know that?"

They smile brightly at one another, until Kara opens the cardboard box in her hands, lifting a chocolate and holding it out towards Alex.

She takes it, looking at it curiously before popping it into her mouth. "Giving me the first bite of your food, before you've had any? I really must be special to you," she jokes, but Kara just looks at her in that heartfelt way she does sometimes.

"You are."

Alex blushes and scratches the back of her neck at the attention.

They meander back towards the house, taking an indirect route back home and walking along the beach instead. Kara finally stops looking so worried and starts laughing at Alex as she tries to throw chocolates into the air and catch them in her mouth, distracting them both from the way Alex's knuckles are starting to bruise.

"I dunno why you're laughing, alien girl. I bet you can't do it either."

Kara scowls, a determined expression crossing her face as she throws her next chocolate into the air. It sails high (a little higher than humanly possible, if Alex is being honest), and Kara catches it...at the edge of her mouth. It bounces off, leaving melted chocolate on her cheek and dropping into the sand.

"Noooo!" Kara whines, as Alex bursts out laughing at her.

She only stops when Kara turns to her, pouting, a smudge of chocolate at the edge of her lips. Her breath catches, for the briefest of moments. Until that catch in her breath turns her laughter into coughing. She doubles over, rubbing her chest to try and breathe.

Alex hands over her last chocolate, just to stop Kara pouting (and to make the weird feeling go away).

_ _ _

Her dad is gone. 

Everything is awful.

She doesn't have any time to feel happy or loving or enjoy the festivities of Christmas or New Year or Valentine's, because Jeremiah is gone.

She gets given pity chocolates from Rick Malverne, of all people, and she almost, almost, throws them in the trash. She doesn't need anyone's pity.

But some part of her memory flashes back to last year, and she stops. Stows them in her schoolbag, and soldiers through the rest of the day.

They're home, watching TV, when Alex pulls them out of her bag. Kara's curled up on the other end of the couch, and her eyes light up at the sight of them.

"I thought you didn't get any this year!" she says, delighted, and Alex snorts.

"If you know one thing about me by this point, Kar, it should be that _all_ the boys want some of this."

"You know, I don't blame them." Kara wink at her.

Alex blushes, a little. "You're just saying that because you want the chocolates."

Kara looks thoughtful for a few moments, tapping her chin. "Oh, no, I'm getting the chocolates either way. I just wanted to butter you up first."

"Only you would talk about butter while being offered chocolates."

Kara makes an affronted noise and pokes Alex in the side, and in retaliation Alex puts the chocolates on her side of the couch, so Kara has to scooch towards her if she wants to get any. She does, reaching wildly over Alex to grab handfuls and chewing on them annoyingly near to Alex's ear as she's trying to watch a procedural crime drama. It's the most normal their interactions have felt since Jeremiah died. It feels nice.

Kara smiles at her with a mouth full of chocolate, and Alex shoves her shoulder. It's nice. It's normal.

_ _ _

2007\. Kenny's been killed, and Alex and Kara are closer than they've ever been – even with Alex's move away to college looming.

Brad gives her a card and chocolates at lunch.

"Hey, Alex. I was, uh...I was wondering if you wanted to go out and watch a movie tonight? I've got two tickets to Casino Royale, if you haven't seen it already. My treat. I'll drive and everything."

She's tempted. She's sorely, deeply tempted. Brad's nice, and all the girls seem to be interested in him, and she supposes he's attractive enough. She hasn't had any dates since she and Connor broke up for real two years ago.

She opens her mouth to agree.

But then she catches sight of Kara at the other side of the cafeteria, and she just can't make the words come.

"I'm really sorry, Brad. I'd like to, but I've, uh, I promised my Mom I'd look after Kara tonight."

His face falls, and she feels like she should feel bad. But she doesn't, not really.

"Oh. Right. Okay. I'm sorry to hear that." He pauses. "I mean, I'm, uh, I'm glad you're looking after her, I'm just sorry you couldn't make it."

She smiles at him sympathetically. "Maybe next time?"

"Yeah, maybe," he replies, but he doesn't sound convinced.

And when, that night, she's tossing chocolates at Kara from across the room and watching her super-speed to catch each one in her mouth, as The Wizard of Oz plays in the background for the thousandth time, Alex thinks she made the right decision. There's no way any action movie with Brad could be as good as this.

_ _ _

Moving to college is hard. It's hard, and it's stressful, and Alex misses Midvale more than she ever expected to. Getting a boyfriend, a med student called Warren, seems like a good way to distract her from the shift to college life. 

And, mostly, it works. Instead of her burying her head in work every day and every night, she spends time with him. Goes on dates. It's normal. It's good.

She should really see it coming.

But when he shows up at her dorm room one Saturday morning with flowers in one arm and a box of chocolate truffles in the other, she's totally floored.

Huh.

So this is what it's like having a boyfriend for more than a week and a half.

"Hey, babe. Happy Valentine's Day," he smiles, and she takes the flowers from his hands. They're surprisingly nice. Flowers still aren't really her thing, but she can appreciate that they aren't just lazy red roses.

"Happy Valentine's," she responds, carrying the flowers over to the sink to put them in some water. Because she hears that's what you're meant to do with flowers and she's a mature adult, damn it, she can do adult things like put flowers in water.

"So, uh, I've got us reservations at that Sushi place – y'know the one you keep saying we should try out?"

In truth, every time Alex sees it she thinks that it would be somewhere she wants to take _Kara_ whenever she visits. But she nods anyway, not wanting to correct his assumption. It's touching that remembered it, really.

"So, that'll be at seven. I hope you don't have any other plans with other handsome guys." He leans in to kiss her, and she reciprocates, ignoring the sinking feeling in her stomach. "I've gotta get to an early class now, but I'll see you then?"

She nods, stiffly, and tries her best to smile. "Wouldn't miss it," she says, and she doesn't know why that feels like a lie.

It's only after her first class, when she checks her phone, that she realises what feels so off.

From: Kara  
Happy Valentine's! It feels weird not getting a bunch of chocolates from you. :P But next year I'll be there in NCU to steal them from you again! <3

She stares at the message for a long time. Walks through her day on autopilot, not really able to concentrate on anything.

It's only once she's headed back to her dorm, grabbed the box, her jacket, and her car keys, that she realises. She stops in the doorway. Pulls out her phone, and stares at the message one last time before typing one of her own out.

To: Brad  
Hey. I'm really sorry to do this, but my sister just found out her boyfriend was cheating on her. I'm so sorry to cancel on you last minute.

She should feel guilty about the lie.

But as she hits the open road, her cheap car rattling and shaking the whole way back to Midvale, she just can't really bring herself to be guilty. The look on Kara's face will be worth it.

It is.

The moment the door opens, Kara's tackling her into a hug. "Alex!!! What are you doing here!? You're not on break, it's a school night! Oh my Raaaao, I can't believe you're here!!"

Alex laughs and wraps her arms around Kara, settling into the bone-crushing hug. God, she's missed this. "Hey, I couldn't let a Danvers Sister tradition get left behind, could I?" She grins, mussing Kara's hair.

It takes a moment for Kara to piece it all together, and then her face lights up. "You brought chocolates!" She lets go of Alex and practically runs over to the car.

"You're damn right I did." Alex grins and steps over to the car, opening the door and pulling out the box, wiggling it in front of Kara's face. A moment later, the box is open and Kara is chewing on something. "Hey! No super-speed-stealing food! Especially not _our_ chocolates."

Kara just smiles innocently, chewing on a truffle like her life depends on it.

Alex rolls her eyes, taking Kara's hand and walking inside to surprise Eliza.

She doesn't tell either of them about her boyfriend. It's not the right time. And plus, if she mentioned him, they'd question why she was here instead of with him. They wouldn't understand. Eliza would think she had her priorities in the wrong place, or something.

Her priorities are always where they need to be. And as Kara super-speeds her fifth truffle of the night, she knows that making the trip back to Midvale was exactly what she needed.

_ _ _

Her relationship with Warren doesn't last long, and Alex is thankful she never mentioned him to Kara or Eliza. He was...nice. Really. There was just something about it that never worked out. Their relationship didn't have any magic to it. (When Alex is being honest with herself, late at night she knows that she's the one who didn't bring the magic. She knows he was great, and supportive, but she just...never put in as much as she took. Being with him left her feeling cold and unaffected, and she knows he deserves more than that).

The next year is Kara's first in National City. Sister nights become a pattern – they don't live together any more but with them both in the city they can see each other once or twice a week, balanced between both their workloads. Between her college classes, her extra credit research, and sister nights with Kara, she doesn't have much time for romance. And, honestly, she's totally fine with that. If her last relationship was anything to go by, she's starting to think she might not be built for love.

But work, and Kara, is a good balance.

So they have sister nights. They go out and try food (and Kara discovers her love of potstickers), they watch movies (whenever they can agree on one to watch), or they stay at Alex's apartment and watch TV.

Valentine's Day sneaks up on them both.

Her molecular biology class's TA hands her a box of chocolates, and she has to resist the urge to gag. A slimy guy, three or four years her senior and meant to be an authority figure, flirting with her. Gross.

She flips her phone open as she's leaving the class, chocolates and notebooks in her bag.

To: Kara  
Creepy TA just gave me a Valentine's gift. Ugh, skeevy. Sister night tonight?

It's the most natural thing in the world to ask. Danvers Sisters traditions. The idea of them _not_ having a sister night is practically heretical. The confirmation comes only minutes later, and Alex is halfway to her next class when she has a thought.

To: Kara  
Hey, we should go to that sushi place I keep telling you about, we always get distracted by other places

From: Kara  
Alex. It's Valentine's Day. EVERYWHERE is going to be booked tonight.

Oh. Right. That's a thing people do. They don't all just stay in with their sister. People go out to restaurants and things. Damn. She's not sure why she'd been so excited for sushi with Kara. She's not even that big of a _fan_ of sushi, she just remembers wanting to take Kara there sometime to try it.

To: Kara  
...Think they do takeout?

They don't.

Kara and Alex stay in and watch TV, instead. They eat cheap potstickers and cheaper chocolates, and Kara eats four times as much as Alex, and Alex lets Kara watch the trashy CW drama she loves so much that Alex pretends to hate.

It's a good night.

_ _ _

They finally go to the sushi place about a month later. It's okay. She's not sure why she was so interested in taking Kara there, in retrospect. She doesn't remember why it was important.

Her workload increases. She's chosen to do research into genetic engineering at Stanford for three months – the only one in her class to be chosen. Her friends sneak her into clubs now and again – she's 21 in a few weeks, she doesn't really understand why she can't just _wait_. But the music is loud and helps her to avoid thinking, and the bright, colourful shots help her to relax.

One of the guys in her Stanford class asks her out a week before Valentine's. He's nice. Smart, talented, probably going to invent something important in a few years. A little overeager considering it's a whole week away, but, as she stuffs the box of thin mints into her bag, she can't really fault that. He's a good man. 

But she knows she'll just drive him away like she did to Warren. Like she does to everyone she dates. She knows he deserves better than that. 

So she lies. 

She tells him she already has plans – that she's got a boyfriend back at NCU and she's going back to National City to see him.

The unfortunate part about the lie is, of course, the fact that everyone in her Stanford class finds out. She can't exactly go out to get drunk at a club when she told everyone she was going back home. And with her sharing a dorm with another girl in her class, she can't just hide out and study unless she wants to be the laughing stock; the girl with the fake boyfriend (even if it's technically true).

So...she goes home.

She gets up on the 14th, and she drives back from Stanford to National City.

Kara tackles Alex in a hug as soon as the door to her dorm opens. A moment later, she stops. Steps away, and blinks at Alex in confusion. "...I thought you weren't back from Stanford for another few weeks."

"I'm not back yet," Alex says, unhelpfully. "I maaay kind of have...told a guy I had a boyfriend in National City to avoid going out for Valentine's with him."

Kara blinks once. Then blinks again. Then she starts grinning, widely. "So I'm your secret National City boyfriend?" she says, teasingly. 

Alex rolls her eyes and hip-checks Kara as she walks past her into the dorm. "Shut up, nerd."

"Only if you give me the thin mints you've got stashed in that bag!"

"You can take 'em from my cold, dead hands!"

_ _ _

She meets a guy called Capraro. He's a jerk, but he can get her into the best clubs. The ones with VIP lists and lines down the street. She knows she should be focusing on her studies, but she's feeling so burnt-out. Her grades are slipping, and she knows she'll be facing academic probation if she keeps this up. But when she drinks, she can forget about it all for a night. She can have a good time, and let loose.

The only other time she feels that free is when she's with Kara.

And recently, that hasn't felt freeing. That's felt like layers upon layers of lies. Lies about her failing grades. Lies about her drinking. Lies about how she's feeling.

But she can't stop lying. She can't tell Kara the truth – that she's messing up. So the parties and the alcohol become the only way she can feel free.

Capraro buys her flowers. Chocolates. A card. The whole shebang.

Then he fills the card with a poem about the last argument they had, and manages to half-rhyme something with "shrill harpy".

So.

You know.

She's not exactly pulling at the reins in enthusiasm for spending Valentine's with him. Imagine that.

To: Kara  
Hey. Capraro's been a jerk again – can you come over?

Kara's knocking on her door less than fifteen minutes later.

"Rao, I love this apartment," she says in lieu of a greeting.

"And it'll be all yours as soon as I'm done." They both grin at the familiar rapport, and Alex gives Kara a side-hug.

"Come on. Capraro got me chocolates – he was just an ass and wrote poetry about our last argument."

Kara frowns as she starts picking at the packaging. "I really don't know why you stay with him."

Alex shrugs. "It's low-maintenance? We argue every month or so, sure, but whenever we're not going that things are just...fine?"

Kara gives up with the packaging and bites it, tearing the corner of the cellophane off. " _We're_ low-maintenance, and we don't argue every other week."

Alex rolls her eyes. Kara doesn't get her into expensive clubs, either, but she doesn't say that part aloud. "Yeah, and we've known each other since we were teenagers. Remember how much we argued when you first moved in?"

Kara finally pulls the box open and makes a triumphant noise, picking up an orange-flavoured chocolate and chewing on it. "Hmm...nope, can't say I remember that. I just remember you being mean to me and me being a perfect child."

Alex rolls her eyes and pokes her in the stomach as she picks up one of the chocolates too. "Right. Of course. I'm imagining all the times you got annoyed at me and super-speeded ahead of me to close the door to our room in my face."

"Yep!"

"Uuuugh. Just pick a movie."

Kara smiles at her like she's the only person in the world, and runs over to Alex's shelf to pick a DVD out.

Alex doesn't think about Capraro for the rest of the night. Doesn't think about alcohol, or clubs, or failing grades, or self-destruction.

She just thinks about Kara.

_ _ _

2012.

Alex wakes up with a foul taste in her mouth and a pounding headache. There's a ringing noise, obnoxiously loud and close to her ear, and she reaches blindly for it. Her bedside table isn't next to her, and she opens her eyes blearily.

She's not in her apartment.

She's on the floor of...someone's apartment. One of her classmates? A stranger? She can't work it out right now, and that ringing noise is still happening. She grabs her handbag, yanking her phone from the deepest parts of it and pressing the answer button.

"Yeah?" she says, voice croaky and dry.

"Alex!" Kara's voice comes through, bright and chirpy, and she winces at it.

"Hey Kar. What's up?" She tries to make her voice sound normal – tries not to betray how awful she feels or the intensity of her hangover.

Kara, as a mercy, doesn't seem to notice. "I was just making sure we were still on for tonight! I know your workload has been ridiculous recently so we haven't been able to have as many sister nights," Alex winces at that. She's been avoiding Kara, knowing her super-senses would be able to smell any trace of alcohol on her – and not wanting to lie to her about anything. "But tonight's a classic Danvers Sister tradition! You'll make it, right?"

"Tonight?" Alex frowns and tries to remember what day it is. And what month.

"Valentine's! Your admirers give you gifts, we lament our chronic singleton status, I eat all your chocolates." Kara's voice has a teasing tone to it, which disguises Alex's horrified moment of realisation.

Oh, _crap_.

It's the fourteenth.

"R-right! Of course. Sorry, you know me, I barely know what day it is when I get into a project. I'll, uh. I'll be there, promise."

She can practically hear the smile in Kara's voice. "Yes!!!" It's worth the piercing pain through her head to feel Kara so elated. "Danvers sisters back in action!"

"You know it. I'll, uh, see you tonight?" Alex has a moment of realisation that her place is full of empty bottles. "Your place?"

"Keeping your apartment all to yourself. I see how it is. I'll see you tonight! I love you!"

"Love you too."

Kara ends the call, leaving Alex alone with her thoughts and her hangover.

She staggers from her place on the floor, wincing and adjusting last night's dress. Now she's more awake, she can look around properly. Okay. It's Jemma's apartment. That's good. She's crashed here a few times before. Not usually on the floor, though – she normally makes it as far as the couch.

Finding her second shoe takes a few minutes (it's in the coat rack, somehow), but eventually she's got her heels on, her handbag slung over one shoulder, and her dress looking as presentable as she can manage. Her hair's probably a lost cause. Honestly, she should just cut it short.

She's halfway back to her apartment when she thinks about what Kara said and stops in place outside a convenience store.

_Your admirers give you gifts_.

Alex feels sick.

She hasn't had any admirers in a while. She's a walking disaster, and everyone around her knows it. Everyone except Kara, who still believes in her enough to think that people would be lining up at Alex's door for a date.

She thinks of the idea of showing up to Kara's place empty-handed, and her stomach turns (the hangover doesn't help).

She can't do that. Kara's the one person who still believes in her. 

The one person who thinks she's _worth_ anything.

If she shows up to Kara's with nothing, the illusion will fall apart. Kara will see that nobody wants her. Will see that she's broken, and unlovable, and a mess who's failing her classes and spiralling out of control. She can see it all perfectly. As soon as the hall of mirrors cracks, it'll shatter apart.

She'll lose Kara.

Alex wouldn't be able to survive that.

She doesn't remember walking into the convenience store. But the next thing she's aware of, she's staring at the tacky Valentine's gifts collection. Glittery cards, slightly wilting flowers, and chocolates so low-quality they probably don't contain any actual chocolate.

She grabs one of the boxes of overpriced heart-shaped chocolates and walks to the front counter.

The girl on the tills looks her up and down, and Alex tries not to think about how she must look. Wearing last night's clothes, stinking of alcohol, in the middle of a walk of shame, and buying a convenience store Valentine's gift on Valentine's Day itself. She must look exactly as bad as she feels.

She doesn't meet the girl's eyes as she passes over a handful of creased bills. Mutters a "keep the change" just to make the exchange as short as possible as she lifts the box again and walks out.

It's only once she's at home, showering the grime and the stench of last night off her in a too-hot shower, that she thinks about what she's just done.

She's never bought the chocolates before. They've always, always been gifts from others. She's just bought chocolates for Kara. 

For her sister.

Her stomach does a little flip at that realisation. She blames it on the hangover, and cranks the heat of her shower until she feels the water start to burn her shoulders.

_ _ _

She gets arrested a couple of months later; just after her 24th birthday. 

She meets Hank. She gets her life back on track. 

A different track than she'd planned, but the DEO is more than she ever could have hoped. For a failed med student, it's more than she ever could have dreamed.

She trains hard. She works, and she fights, and she gets beaten up regularly, but a masochistic, self-destructive part of her always comes back for more. That part of her's satisfied that she's being hit. It doesn't seem to realise that every defeat is helping her to self-construct, now. 

She's not a helpless college student drinking her life away.

_Block a swing; feel the sting of Vasquez's forearm impacting hers._

She's Alex Danvers.

_Duck low, jab to the solar plexus, drive forwards._

She's a badass.

_Grapple, pin. Don't let her move._

And she is in control of her own destiny now.

She starts to make it to sister nights again, after the first couple of months of intense training. She's still lying to Kara, but it's about different things to what it used to be. It's _I walked into the door at the lab_ instead of _I had a late night working on my thesis_. It's _I cut my hair because it was just getting in the way_ (that one isn't technically a lie) instead of _I can't make it tonight, I'm totally swamped_.

It's the 13th when Agent Vasquez walks up to her in the training room. Alex likes Vasquez – the senior agent seems to have taken her under her wing, at least a little (she thinks Henshaw put her up to it, personally).Whatever the reasons, she's been Alex's most reliable opponent in training; never backing down or pulling her punches, always pushing Alex to be better.

"Danvers," she greets, and there's something about the tone that lets Alex know this isn't going to be a request for sparring or an order for her to report to Henshaw.

Alex stops swinging at the heavy bag. "Agent," she answers on reflex, standing to attention.

"Hey, so..." Vasquez starts, looking around. "Are you doing anything tomorrow?"

It takes Alex a second to work out what day Vasquez is asking about, and her brain shorts out for a few moments afterwards.

"If you're busy, or not interested, or want to keep things professional, I absolutely respect that. I just...wanted to ask."

Her instant, instinctive _I'm not gay_ doesn't leave her mouth.

Her polite refusal, or saying she wants to just stay friends with Vasquez rather than anything else, doesn't pass her lips.

Instead, what she says is "I'm really sorry, I've already got plans."

Vasquez nods. "Not a problem, ma'am. Just had to take a shot." There's a moment of silence. "He's a lucky guy."

"I'm the lucky one," Alex responds without having to even think about it. "I don't know where I'd be without her."

The pronoun slips out accidentally, and Vasquez's usual impassive expression shifts into a grin.

Alex feels exposed.

She feels like she's said something she shouldn't; implied something she shouldn't.

She thinks about it for the rest of the day. Thinks about Vasquez's date offer, and about her refusal, and he words afterwards.

The way Vasquez had looked at her.

She thinks about it the next day, as she's buying a couple of boxes of chocolates for sister night with Kara.

She thinks about it as she knocks on Kara's door and gets greeted with a hug.

"Chocolate! Alex!!! Chocolate!!!" she greets enthusiastically, in order, and practically drags Alex into her apartment.

She laughs at her sister's antics and, for the first time in two days, her worries and thoughts fade away.

"Hey you," Alex says, mussing up Kara's hair. "Happy Valentine's."

"Happy Valentine's Day, Allie," Kara murmurs, two chocolates already in her mouth. "Come help me pick a movie!"

At least, that's what Alex assumes she says. It's very difficult to understand her when she's actively chewing.

"You know, it's very difficult to understand you like that," she says, aloud. "But through my years of experience with Kara-whispering, I think I've worked out that you want me to choose whatever movie I want tonight."

"Nooooo!" is Kara's instant reaction. "You'll pick Terminator again!"

"T-2."

Kara pouts.

Alex ignores the pout. She does. She absolutely, one hundred percent does not relent. This year, they're going to watch action movies and maybe a few horror flicks, and that's that, and she's not hearing any arguments. They always watch something Kara likes, and this year Alex isn't having it. She's picking her own movie.

An hour later, they're curled up under the blankets, watching a trashy romantic comedy.

Kara's watching it, at least. Alex...she's watching Kara. She's got caramel smeared on her cheek, and she's left her glasses on the table. Her hair's down, and she looks relaxed in a way she only is around Alex. She chews on a chocolate idly, and giggles at some tacky joke that happens on the screen.

This is the woman Alex is in love with.

The realisation doesn't surprise Alex when it hits her.

She knows, logically, that she should panic, or freak out, or feel sickened by herself. Or at the very least have a sexuality crisis.

But it's _Kara_. And so...in the moments after Alex realises, nothing really changes.

"I love you," she says, aloud, and it's the most natural thing in the world.

"Love you too," Kara murmurs back, bumping her foot against Alex's calf.

And that's enough for Alex. It always will be.

_ _ _

The realisation doesn't change much. Alex had already given up on dating, so it doesn't really hit her romantic life. Kara lands a job at CatCo later that year, and sister nights become more scattered again. Between Kara's workload and Alex becoming a full Agent, it's hard to organise one night a week when they'll both be free.

But now, whenever Alex sees Kara, she knows why it warms her. She knows why it brightens her day. And she's at peace with that.

02/14/2014. _One year_ , she realises, as she looks at the date on her phone. The nerdy part of Alex likes the near-symmetry of the day.

To: Kara  
So, y'know, one year you're gonna have to bring the chocolates. You keep expecting me to be the popular one.

From: Kara  
You being the popular one just means people have good taste. :P

Alex ignores the flip in her stomach and puts her phone down to focus on lab work. Considering how much she trained for combat, her job is a lot of lab research. But she can't complain about that. She expected to grow up to be a scientist. Now she's just a secret government scientist with better musculature than she expected to have.

It's less than an hour later that her phone starts ringing, a picture of her and Kara lighting up the screen.

Kara never calls her during a workday.

She picks up the phone, closing the glass door to her lab for privacy.

The moment she answers, she hears Kara sob, and her heart wrenches. "Alex," Kara whimpers.

"Hey. Hey, Kar, I'm here. Shhh, it's okay, I'm here." She's already working out how she can leave work. Family emergency? Does that work at the DEO? She's never tried it.

"I thought..." Kara's voice echoes a little, and Alex is pretty sure she's hiding in the bathroom stall. "I thought things were better now."

Oh, god.

"I thought people here at CatCo _liked_ me." Kara sniffles, and there's a creaking sound over the phone. "Sure, I'm just an assistant, but I still thought....I never thought they'd be this _mean_." The creaking gets louder.

"Kara. Kara, listen to my voice. Don't shatter your phone, okay? I need you to loosen your grip a little. Can you do that for me?"

There's a shaky breath, and the creaking stops a moment later.

"Okay. I'm here for you, and I love you." Alex keeps her tone soothing. "What happened at CatCo?"

"...I got into work this morning, and there were chocolates on my desk."

...Alex isn't sure where this is going.

"And a note, from Carl, asking if I wanted to go out tonight. He's like. He's one of the top writers in the company. He's cool, and popular, and smart."

She swallows down the wave of jealousy she feels. No. Kara's allowed to date other people, and she's upset right now.

""I just...I thought he was nice. I can't believe he'd do something like this."

Okay. Alex feels like she might've missed something in the midst of her jealousy. "Uh...run that by me once more? He left you chocolates, and so you think...people at CatCo are being mean?"

"Yes!! You're the one who gets chocolates, Alex! I'm just...I'm _Kara_! I'm the lame, weird one. The only reason I'd ever get chocolates from anyone is..."

Lannan.

"Kara..." Alex begins, her voice gently supportive. "Did you stop to think that...maybe it's been a long time since high school, and maybe this guy genuinely likes you? I mean...have you _see_ you? He'd have to be crazy not to love you, y'know?"

"Oh."

There's silence for a few seconds, then another loud sniffle.

"So you think...he...actually likes me?"

"Yes, Kara. I think he's seen what I've been seeing since I met you, and I think he adores you." She ignores the way that sentence sounds, ignores the way it's a little too close to the truth.

"...Oh. Okay. Um...what should I do?"

"Do you like him?"

"...I guess? He's...he's popular, like I said. And smart. Nice."

"I think..." Alex swallows her jealousy down again. She can do this. She can be the supportive sister. She's always known Kara would be popular one day. She just guesses that day has finally arrived. "I think you should go for it. Go on a date with him. You deserve a perfect Valentine's Day."

"...Okay. Okay. I can...I'll tell him I'm interested." A few moments of silence. "You're _sure_ this isn't him pranking me?"

"If he is, Cat will fire him."

There's a sigh of relief. "Okay. I can do this. I, um. Thanks. Love you."

Alex doesn't get to respond before the phone goes dead.

She stares at it for ten minutes, silently. She doesn't do work, or focus on anything else, until it beeps.

From: Kara  
You were right!! <3 He's taking me out at 7!!!

Alex feels sick.

Kara's happy, and that's all that should matter. That's all that should ever matter. Alex is content just to be in her presence – to orbit her red star. She always has been.

But that doesn't stop it from hurting.

To: Kara  
Congratulations! I hope you have a great night.

And she does. Truly. She hopes Kara has a wonderful night. She just... She selfishly wishes Kara would have a great night with her, instead.

There aren't any messages back from Kara for the rest of the day. That level of radio silence is unusual, but...she has a lot to be excited about today. Alex probably isn't high on her priority list for today. Dates to prepare for, Cat to look after.

Alex's productivity is shot all day. She can't concentrate on her research. She tries to spar, but she gets taken down within about thirty seconds. She's counting down the hours until she can clock out. By the time she leaves the DEO for the day, she just wants to drive home, and get out a bottle of scotch, and feel sorry for herself for the rest of the night.

She wants to.

But when she opens the door, her brain short-circuits.

Kara's there.

Kara's standing in her apartment, and...are those candles? Why has she lit candles? Where did she even _get_ candles, Alex doesn't have any candles?

The room is dimly lit by candlelight (seriously, _where did she get those candles_?), there's...at least four boxes of chocolates piled on the table, and Kara's standing before her, arms behind her back awkwardly. She's scuffing her foot against the rug, and from the way it's worn down, Alex is pretty sure she's been here for a little while.

"Kara..."

"Just...let me speak, okay? Because I've been standing here for almost an hour, and I've been thinking a lot about what I'm gonna say, and I just...I need to say it."

Alex nods, mutely.

"So. Carl asked me on a date, and he gave me chocolates, and I just. I couldn't stop thinking about what you said. About me deserving a good Valentine's Day." Kara swallows. "And I had to think about that a lot. I had to think about what my _perfect Valentine's Day_ would even be. And it made me...it made me realise something."

Kara meets Alex's eyes, staring deep into them.

"My perfect Valentine's Day is with you."

...Oh.

"Every year since I got here...sharing chocolates with you? Being with you? They've been the best Valentine's Days I could imagine."

Alex swallows, hard. She feels exposed – there's nowhere for her to hide in the face of this honesty. It blinds her and cuts through all the shadows where her feelings go to die.

"So I let Carl know I had to cancel, and....then it turned out that I'd managed to eat all the chocolates he got me because I'd been worrying so much and you know how I stress-eat, and I felt bad because they were really nice chocolates and so I just kind of...bought a lot of chocolates. And broke into your apartment. And waited for you to get home, to tell you that...you've _always_ been my perfect Valentine's Day." Kara takes a step forwards. "It's always been you, Alex."

Alex's mouth feels dry.

She wonders if she got hit by a semi on the way back from the desert base and if this is all some coma-dream.

Kara's staring at her.

Kara's expecting her to say something.

"...Did you buy candles?"

Damn it.

Kara giggles. "...Yeah. Yeah, I did."

Alex surges forwards. She kisses Kara. She doesn't hesitate, doesn't hold back. Their teeth click together, and Kara tastes of chocolate, and _god_ it's everything Alex has ever wanted when Kara starts kissing her back.

She feels her back hit the door, and she knows Kara's pushed her against it. Finally, finally, they pull back. Alex stares into Kara's eyes, resting their foreheads together.

"Be my Valentine?"

"Always."


End file.
